Obviously Tara Reid doesn't have any friends, because here she is without a bra at her Mantra fashion show in Athens, Greece. Seriously, does anybody want to see this? We know what's underneath that dress, Tara. No thanks. I don't know what passes for hot in Greece, but in America, your tits shouldn't look like you fed Gizmo after midnight then let him breastfeed you.

My gag reflex was way too sensitive for me to look at all these pictures of Tara Reid in Miami this weekend, so please, have at it. She looks better than she usually does I guess, but so does a mummy when it's put in a museum. I don't even know if that was a joke or not because her ass is making me too scared to concentrate. Trust me when I say I'd rather watch reruns of "Todd and Amy Winehouse Plus 8" than look at the banner picture for five minutes.


Photos: Splash

God knows why Tara Reid insists on wearing bikinis with that skin graft she calls a stomach, but JC Chasez seems to be okay with it. In fact, this is a pretty good picture of these two. I should print it out and frame it. Then I'll put it in between the picture of Elizabeth Berkley and the picture of David Schwimmer in my book called, "People I Thought Were Dead But Apparently They Aren't."

All Tara Reid's been doing for the past three years is getting fall down drunk and stuff like this, so I really don't think it's safe to call her famous anymore. At best she'd be a fourth alternate of Celebrity Rehab. She shouldn't bother reading scripts, she should be reading "Airtighting For Dummies." Because the only time she'll ever be in front of camera again is if there's a tarp and baby wipes nearby.

Tara Reid is in Bali, Indonesia shooting ads for an Australian sleep/swimwear line, and surprise, the first night she was there she got drunk and fell down. Whoever hired Tara Reid to model a bathing suit must have also been drunk. Her stomach looks like a wax seal on Thomas Jefferson's mail. The only thing she should be modeling is skin grafts or breathalyzers.

I wonder if Tara Reid's plastic surgeon wore those big foam "We're #1" things or if he just has hooks for hands. Hmmm, that's a tough one.

If you own a Papa John's and you're looking for some star power for your grand opening. Look no further, Tara Reid is available! Page Six reports:

The blond uber-bimbo, who's been partying hard in Australia, was trying to charge $25,000 to $30,000 for her appearances at clubs. But she had to drop her inflated price to a bargain-basement fee of about $3,500 when nobody would bite."

Tara Reid would go down on you for a bar tab, so this $3,500 fee is probably still reaching for the stars. All you'd have to do is say "open bar" and Tara would show up too early, camped out like she was one of the nerds waiting in line for Star Wars.

Tara Reid at the Hooker's Ball on December 2nd (NSFW?):

Hey, you remember that time Tara Reid was in movies? Yeah, neither does her agent, because she's been hired to host something called the "Hooker's Ball" in Darwin, Australia. ninemsn reports:

The American Pie starlet's role in the 21st staging of Darwin's self-styled naughtiest night will include competing in the wet t-shirt contest, and a manager at the Discovery nightclub says Reid may be dressed up in lingerie or even as a prostitute. "It's a night like your 'pimps and prostitutes' or sleaze balls, and it's just a night of less is best," hospitality manager Guy Dunne said. "We thought Tara Reid would be a great choice ... it's a very naughty night and an opportunity to put your inhibitions down."...Mr Dunne says it was a big coup for the club and Darwin to have Reid host the event, saying they usually get passed over by "big-name stars".

This should be fun. Because it's Tara Reid. I'll put the over/under at 20 minutes before she's stumbling drunk and wondering how her panties got stuck to her shoe. If the night doesn't end with Tara Reid passed out under a table wearing nothing but barrel suspenders and a snorkel mask, I'll slap a bear. (Author's note: to clarify, my teddy bear.)


Tara at the Ivy on November 23rd:


Sad, pathetic update after the jump...