Mary Harron, the director of the film adaptation of Brett Easton Ellis' 1991 classic novel, American Psycho, sat down for an interview recently and was asked about Christian Bale's inspiration for the book's Manhattan serial-killing monster, Patrick Bateman. He found it on David Letterman. BlackBook reports:

It was definitely a process. We talked a lot, but he was in L.A. and I was in New York. We didn’t actually meet in person a lot, just talked on the phone. We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy.

The movie was the Disney version of the book, but whatever. This might be the greatest thing you read all day, because if anything has ever made more perfect sense in your life someone needs to let me know. Every time I see Tom Cruise, I fully expect him to unzip his skin suit to tell me I'm gonna be a slave worker on his home lizard planet. Dude is creepy. But I gotta go right now, I have to return some videotapes.



Lifeless Eyes and secret Scientologist, Will Smith:

Tom Cruise is in Boston right now filming a movie with Cameron Diaz and Ben Affleck, but that's really beside the point because he went jogging with his wife, Katie Holmes, yesterday. I don't know if you could tell by these pictures or not, but you could ride a tricycle in a diaper and a propeller hat and not look as goofy as Tom Cruise does right now.

There's something creepy about Tom Cruise taking an upskirt shot of his robot daughter at Disneyworld while onlookers, both real and fictional, watch.

Disneyworld Exec: Of course, Mr. Cruise, we can accommodate you.

Tom: Excellent. I want all the characters on a lawn so I can take some pictures, and I want to skip the line for every ride.

Disneyworld Exec: Of course.

Tom: And I want you to pull all the Pinocchio characters. The last thing I need is Suri wanting to be a real boy.

Disneyworld Exec: Disney has a very strong policy against sexual confusion in youth.

Tom: I was more worried about the "real" part. I have to go power up Katie.

(Tom Cruise teleports)

I've been looking for the hi-res versions of these all day, but I've given up so I'm just going post these. "These" being pictures of Tom Cruise yesterday by a pool in Rio. You remember Tom Cruise, right? Yeah apparently he's an underground cage fighter now.



Photo credit: Splash (obviously)

I'm not saying that Tom Cruise and Scientology have anything to do with how Katie Holmes looks now, but I'm pretty sure I could be dropped into a vat of chemicals and not change as much as Katie Holmes has since 2005. She couldn't look any different than she did on Dawson's Creek if she had wings and a unicorn horn.



Photo credit: Splash

Due to several death threats received from groups opposing Scientology and Tom Cruise's portrayal of Nazi officer, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, in his new film Valkyrie, Cruise and his family are reportedly living in fear and are now residing in different locations and only travel in bomb-proof vehicles. The Daily Mail reports:

The Mail on Sunday can reveal that security has been stepped up around Cruise, 46, Holmes, 30, and their two-year-old daughter Suri...Last week Cruise attended the Los Angeles premiere of the movie, which was targeted by protesters from the anti-Scientology group Anonymous. He has been forced to increase security around his family since then. "The threats are perceived to be so great that the FBI has been alerted," said a source. Cruise is due to fly to London for the UK premiere on January 21. "Tom is terrified. He doesn’t feel safe anywhere," the source added. Cruise has spent $10 million on an underground bunker in the grounds of his estate in Colorado. In August, threats were made to place anthrax in the air vents of his Los Angeles office.

Just five years ago, Tom Cruise was one of the world's most beloved movie stars, starring in one critical and commercial hit after another. Now he's gonna get killed because he believes that lotion and Tic Tacs cure autism and that the devil flies around in an intergalactic DC-8 spaceship dropping hydrogen bombs into volcanoes. I can see how some people would have a problem with that. Not a problem, however, is the homeless guys I hunt on my private island. Their signed release of liability forms were designed to protect them just as much as me. I know, I know.. Sometimes I'm guilty of caring too much.

Katie Holmes in Manhattan wearing some questionable shorts:

David Beckham is hotter than most of the chicks I've dated, so you can see how Victoria Beckham must feel knowing she looks like a leather cricket. In case you don't know, David Beckham was scheduled to do an interview with Italian television host, Ilaria D'amico (this chick). Then Victoria typed her named into Google. The Sun says:

"The Italian media is claiming ILARIA D'AMICO was set to interview Becks tomorrow when he is officially unveiled as AC Milan's new signing. But "at the request of the Beckham camp", the interview has been scrapped after Posh apparently "researched Ilaria on the Internet". Instead, Becks will be presented to the media in a standard press conference. Italian newspaper La Repubblica claims Victoria's "jealousy" was the reason why the interview with Sky Sports presenter Ilaria was dropped."

Since I'm committed to hard-hitting investigative journalism, I also researched Ilaria on the Internet. Who knows why Posh freaked out and cancelled the interview? Could it have been because of this? Or this? Or maybe this? I don't really know her reasons. Although I think it has something to do with tits.

Ilaria D'Amico:


Beckhams and Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes on a dinner date together last month:

Katie Holmes was signing autographs outside the Schoenfeld Theatre in NYC on Wednesday when she was photographed with a gigantic cold sore on her mouth (not the first time she's been seen like this - click here and click here. It seems like Tom Cruise has that effect on all the ladies. Meow! Page Six reports:

"The women in Tom Cruise's life seem to have the gift that keeps on giving. In the past week, both Cruise's ex-wife, Nicole Kidman, and his current one, Katie Holmes (above), have been photographed with cold sores on their lips. Cold sores, also known as oral herpes or herpes labialis, are transmitted very easily from one kisser to another. Reps for Cruise, Kidman and Holmes didn't return e-mails."

Good grief, look at Katie Holmes. People only look like this if they've been shipwrecked or don't get along with Nazis.



Photos: Splash