Mark Wahlberg is a notorious jackass, so of course he couldn't help himself when he was asked about Kate Moss and their famous 1992 Calvin Klein ads in an interview with Nuts Magazine. The Sun reports:

"It was OK. I wasn't into the waif thing. She [Kate Moss] kind of looked like my nephew. I mean she's beautiful - she's a very pretty nephew - but I'm more into curvy women."

It's hard not to argue with Mark Wahlberg, I guess. Especially since Kate Moss looks like she should be dancing on a table with a top hat and umbrella explaining to Pinocchio about a good conscience.


Not looking a nephew, here's Lucy Pinder in this week's issue of Nuts Magazine. Ta-dow! NSFW:

Keeley Hazell has big tits. So for Halloween she's a witch with big tits. I'm not gonna lie, if more witches looked like this then Wicca might take off. As it stands right now, recycling chicks with green hair and fresh cut marks don't really resonate with my penis.

Click lips for NSFW pics:

I don't want to assume that Danielle Lloyd has had lip injections, so I'm gonna guess either she was attacked by a swarm of bees or she was exposed to some kind of radiation. I don't know what type of radiation exactly, but apparently her superpowers include the ability to drain testicles. Up, up, and away!

With Kelly Brook, Lucy Pinder, Keeley Hazell, Sophie Howard, and Gemma Atkinson, there really seems to be no end to the amount of UK chicks who are famous for just showing their tits. It must be a really demanding job, because when they're not doing that, they're usually drunk. Just like Jodie Marsh at McDonald's. I have no idea what the hell is going on in these pictures or why the hand in her crotch is flipping off the camera, but I think it might have something to do with being a drunk whore.

Kerry Katona, former member of the British girl group Atomic Kitten, went on live TV this morning for an interview with "The Morning with Fern and Philip," and uhhh....damn. I've watched this about ten times now and still have no idea what this stoned bitch is saying. I mean, it's like a regular interview where they ask her questions, only I'm not sure if she's actually answering, because there's also a good chance that she might be possessed by the devil.

There really isn't much more that can be said about Keeley Hazell's magnificent tits. You know, that I didn't already say during my trial. You'll never keep us apart!!

When you're faced with true understated elegance and class, it can take you aback. Just like Jodie Marsh does here at the UK premiere of Daylight Robbery. With her gigantic rack and prison ink, it's obvious she's the Jackie O of her generation. Except with what I presume to be way more areola scarring.


Photos: Splash

Kelly Brook is in the French Riviera for some reason, and at this point there really should be a law that says a bikini is the most clothes Kelly Brook is allowed to wear. And we wouldn't even have to go to that extreme if that bitch Eve didn't set up Adam. Jeez, thanks, Eve. Why does everything have to be about you?