Former 1997 Playmate of The Year, Victoria Silvstedt, is a high-priced prostitute now (no, seriously), so here she is on a yacht with her boyfriend. Or her granpa. To be honest, I didn't really research this very well.


Click on the banner picture to see all 15 pics:

Hey, remember when Victoria Silvstedt was Playboy's 1997 Playmate of the Year? You do? Awesome. So if you're wondering what kind of job you can get with that on your resume, I bet you'd never think "escort" or "prostitute". Haha, I know right? I wouldn't have thought of that either, but please keep in mind that Victoria Silvstedt is an actual prostitute. No, seriously. I'm only saying this to prepare you for this, this, and this. You don't need to look at those pictures to know the guy in them is unattractive, because when you're paying $30K a day to play Marco Polo with a 36-year old prostitute, I guess that's just already assumed.

In 1993, Victoria Silvstedt was crowned Miss Sweden and was immediately signed by a modeling agency in Paris where she modeled for such prestigious fashion houses as Chanel, Christian Dior, Giorgio Armani, Givenchy, Loris Azzaro and Valentino. Hugh Hefner wanted her to blow him, so in 1997 she was named Playmate of The Year and became the spokesmodel for Guess? soon after. That's why she charges $30,000 a day to fuck guys in Dubai. As far as prostitute resumes go, this is like Abraham Lincoln running for President of the P.T.A.

Silvstedt in Central Park yesterday:

Since I was given no guidance as a child and was led to believe that the world revolved around me, I throw out the word "whore" a lot on the site. My bad. But today is a good day, because Victoria Silvstedt is an actual whore. Seriously. For legal reasons, Victoria Silvstedt can't hang a neon sign on her vagina and advertise her price list, but if you want to hit it, I assume all you need is a current passport and a certified check.

Victoria Silvstedt is an actual prostitute, so if you're looking to have sex with this, you might be able to work out a deal. I hear that sex reassignment therapy at John Hopkins is pretty expensive.

Playboy Playmate and whore (no seriously, like a real whore) Victoria Silvstedt was in St. Barts for New Years, and I'm pretty sure that she just asked that guy if he wanted to have sex. Mostly because he's probably rich. That helps, because the new card swipe reader installed in her vagina is protected for the consumer with no surcharges or arbitrary security procedures. Although many banks charge over-limit fees or non-sufficient funds fees based upon pre-authorizations on debit cards.

If the Tiger Woods drama has taught us anything, it's that Swedish models are violent sociopaths who will beat you with a golf club if you cheat on them, but that doesn't really matter. To my penis. Mostly because they're blonde and stacked. Victoria Silvstedt could stab me in the neck during sex and I'd still ask her if she had any plans later.

Victoria Silvstedt was at a public beach in St. Tropez this weekend where she A.) healed the sick B.) discovered a portal to a new dimension C.) masturbated in plain view of photographers. Click on the banner picture to find out this startling revelation! The suspense is killing me!!